FARFETCHED FACTOID #04005 - Penwomanship
Little is known about "penwomanship" (other than the fact that it has something to do with the fair sex and writing utensils).
It seems that a century ago, give or take a few years, some feisty floosies (as they were called in the "good old days") complained about not having the vote, not having access to high quality pens that didn't leak all over one's thank you notes, and not having a break from nappy changing routines. They also expostulated vehemently about far too many broken finger nails, cookies that crumbled, and cracked punch bowls.
The Fickle Finger of Fate & Funny Fetishes heard their pantaloon pleas and granted them three waggish wishes as miffed members of the Bluestocking Society:
1. The right to cast the ballot in the annual "Mirror Mirror on the Wall, Who is the Fairest of Them All" contest", or if they preferred something more challenging...the right to cast the first frigging stone (at snooty people who live in glass houses) ...whichever gave them the best chance of success.
2. The answer to every Domestic Diva's dreams ...more modern kitchen appliances and gadgets such digital timers and thermometers, electric carving knives, expresso coffee machines, waffle-makers, bagel/toaster ovens, convection ovens, microwaves, garburators and compactors, "smart" ranges and refrigerators, not to mention a gleeful genie in a bottle named, "Mr. Clean", and a dapper white-suited fellow with an ever-present beaming smile ..."The Man from Glad".
3. A delightful digital doomahickey that responds to the owner's every command, plus a few pleasant perks such as a built-in back back-rubber, a convenient memory-loss reminder, a B-S filter, and a meditation mood music stick to enhance transparent ideas or lighter-than-air thoughts presented by breath-taking braggadacios during business meetings).
And that dear friends is the end of this moral majority tale about how things might have turned out if women ruled the world instead of the tried-and true, linear-thinking, logical, and fearless folk who know better and who shall henceforth be known as men of letters.